“I’m red. That’s just how I am.”
The same sentence after every piece of feedback… until the HR Director called me.
Red, green, blue, yellow.
I know these personality tools well.
They help put words on our preferences and ways of operating.They help us understand our blind spots.They can create real moments of awareness.
But they were never designed to justify disrespectful behavior.
At some point, something shifted.
What was meant to be a mirror became an excuse.What was meant to open reflection became a way to shut the conversation down.What was meant to create responsibility became a way to avoid it.
And at that point, we are no longer talking about personality.We are talking about impact.
This is true for every profile.But with “reds”, the impact is often more direct — and harder to receive.
“I’m red” does not mean “I don’t have to change.”It means: “this is how I tend to operate.”
I’m “red” too.I know the impatience, the drive for action, the need to move fast and make decisions.
And I have learned that, without awareness, those traits can become abrupt, even overpowering.
That is the impact I can have, and the question is what I choose to do with it.
We often hide behind the word “authenticity” in these situations.
“I say things as I think them. That’s who I am.”
But authenticity is not saying everything that crosses your mind.It is not ignoring the impact you have on others.It is fully owning your impact.
Hiding behind a profile to justify difficult behavior has nothing to do with authenticity.It is a refusal to take responsibility as a leader.
When “I’m red” becomes a justification:
it is not directness,it is brutality.
It is not authenticity,it is a lack of consideration.
Behind “I’m red”, someone takes the hit and stays silent.
And that is a problem.
A leader who says “that’s just how I am” closes the door.
To the relationship, to feedback, and to their own development.
And they make others pay the price for what they refuse to look at in themselves.
In my coaching work, this moment is often a turning point.
When someone stops saying: “that’s just how I am.”
And starts asking: “what impact am I having… and what do I choose to do with it?”
Used well, a personality tool creates something very different.
Not: “I’m red, so I’m direct.”
But: “I’m red, so I know I can be perceived as abrupt.
Here is what I will do to remain impactful without overpowering others.”
This is not about denying who you are.It is about exercising leadership with awareness.
Because a responsible leader does not set authenticity against impact.
They own both.
They do not hide behind who they are.They work with it.
And you, today, are you more in: “that’s just how I am”…
or in a lucid exploration of your impact?