My children taught me what 20 years in business never managed to normalize.And all thanks to one simple expression.
“You lost me.”It’s an expression I’ve been hearing a lot lately.
Only three words.Very simple, but with so much impact.
Just this: I don’t understand what you’re referring to, and I’m saying it.
And I find that absolutely powerful.
Because in the professional world, we still value looking like we understand far too much.When in reality, we are never reacting to the same thing. We are reacting to our own references, often invisible to others.
We nod, we interpret, we pretend we’ve understood…And what does that create?
Fragile decisions, lingering misunderstandings, false alignment discovered too late, and unnecessary tension.
And above all (and this is the real issue), we damage the relationship.
Because a high-quality relationship is not about guessing what the other person means.It is about creating the conditions to truly understand each other.
“You lost me” is exactly that.
It is simply saying:I would rather pause for one second than move in the wrong direction for six months.
And when a leader says that, they do something even bigger.They normalize not grasping everything the first time.And most importantly, they give others permission to say it too.
The problem is never being lost.The problem is acting as if you’re not.
Pretending to understand is socially rewarded. But relationally, it is costly.
So, in your team, are people allowed to say “You lost me”?Or do they prefer to pretend… and silently live with the consequences?